October 5, 2023
Multiplayer gaming can be a tough place for some. Many online lobbies are full of harassment, toxicity, and inappropriate behavior. Still, millions of people log on to play every day. It’s our job, as players, to make sure that we don’t ourselves misbehave and that we look out for behavior from others that may cause discomfort. Below, we will look at the do’s and don’ts of multiplayer gaming.
Dos
Stand up for what you believe in
Groupthink affects us quickly. As humans, it’s easy to be influenced by friends or people around us, and it’s hard to stand up for people or things, even when we know what is right. Especially when playing online, it’s important to stand up for yourself and others.
It’s easy to get lost in a group, especially a group of people that you think are your friends. Still, you have to ensure you don’t let anyone do or say unkind things to others. If it doesn’t feel right, say something.
Many of us have been in a situation where we’re gaming with a group of friends that starts ganging up on another player. While it may feel like it’s “all in good fun,” the person taking the brunt of the joke may not feel that way.
Lift others, don’t bring them down
Instead of helping others beat people down, go against the grain and instead lift people up. It is too common in online games to harass people or call them names when they make a mistake. It’s worth more of your energy to lift people instead and compliment them when they have done a good job or played well.
Even if your teammates are playing poorly, it doesn’t do the team any good to talk trash or harass them. This will lead them to either play poorly or quit the game altogether. Instead, lift them up and make sure that they feel supported to continue improving their gaming journey.
Speak with care
In gaming and in life, you must watch what you say to others. Words matter, and words can affect people more than you probably realize when speaking. Watch for the following things when speaking online, especially when you’re talking with people you know nothing about:
- Racist speech
- Homophobic speech
- Hate speech of any kind
- Misogynistic language
- Inappropriate language
- Insensitive words, phrases, or jokes
As a rule, you should avoid this type of speech in general, but it’s especially relevant online when you have no idea the impact your words may have on another person.
Don’ts
Make jokes at the expense of others
Multiplayer gaming is rife with inappropriate jokes that toe the line between funny and mean. As a result, it’s easy to hang out with friends and have a good time without doing so at the expense of others.
Sometimes, it’s hard to know what you should and shouldn’t say. You aren’t expected always to be hyper-aware of the things you and your friends are saying, but you should know enough to filter jokes before you tell them aloud. When in doubt, don’t say the joke. And if someone else says it, don’t laugh at it if you don’t think it’s funny. Over time and with practice, you (and your friends) will start filtering out hurtful or inappropriate jokes, which will make for a more enjoyable and wholesome gaming experience for everyone.
Speak poorly about another group of people
This one should be a given. There is never a reason you should talk poorly about another group of people, whether it be a minority, another team, or something else. Whether they can hear you saying those things or not, it’s better you just don’t say them at all. Even if you’re only in a chat with your friends, you still should not talk poorly about others. It perpetuates a culture of elitism, which is very bad for the online gaming community.
Say things with anger
It’s easy to get heated, especially when you’re playing competitively and with people you’re comfortable with. What’s not easy is mending relationships when you have said something out of anger and without thinking. It’s easier to instead learn how to regulate your emotions in the heat of the moment and learn not to blame others in-game.
Do your best not to let yourself have outbursts in-game, even if no one else can hear you. The more you practice regulating your emotions while you’re alone, the more appropriately you will act around other people in-gam and in life in general.
Be rude or inconsiderate
Sometimes when online, people use their anonymity as a chance to remove every filter before they speak. Unfortunately, this often means that people are rude to strangers (whether on their team or the enemy) or generally inconsiderate.
It’s easy not to be rude. Either speak nicely or don’t speak at all. Comms are there for a reason, but if you can not control yourself when using them, you shouldn’t use them at all!
You should also make sure that you’re considering others while playing. You aren’t the only one on your team, and you should act like it. There is no point in being inconsiderate, and a lack of consideration is something we see constantly online.
One example of being inconsiderate online is going AFK while playing a game online. Especially when with strangers, it can be easy not to think about how you’re affecting others and their gameplay. Think before you do things in-game, and consider how you would feel if you were on the other end of the line.
In general, speak with kindness to everyone you come across online. Stand up for others, and don’t be complicit in hate speech or harassment. You might think a joke is funny, but it isn’t worth it if it hurts someone else.